Incidental Corridor on Consciousness and Self-Consciousness, No.477

Self-consciousness is conscious of itself only by negating its first-consciousness, which is the awareness of itself of being aware; a light turned on, if you will, bringing an entire space into view. Are we aware of the darkness first, or what is in the darkness, what lies behind the covering, the shell around nothing but itself until is it broken through by the light?
What is first is consciousness itself; being that is being; life that is life and awareness, recognition and assertion. Self-consciousness needs the self to know what it is, but negates itself in doing so. Once it knows itself as self-consciousness, it becomes first-consciousness until another distinction moves it aside and the self, once again, makes its appearance. And, so on. This is the way that the self relates to itself; knowing itself as self-consciousness in the form of first-consciousness, which vanishes and reflects simultaneously. This doubling of consciousness is its life and rebirth, its appearance through appearance, and the force which ‘desires’ to be taken to the point where it no longer is what it is to itself, but what it is outside itself as self-consciousness.
Experience nourishes self-consciousness. It is its inner-world, its life-giving process. It throws a veil over consciousness so that it can ‘peer within’ and find its other self by negating itself. This other self gives consciousness its state of awareness, but it is only aware and has no being. Self-consciousness breaks through the veil and conceals consciousness, as it follows the path of awareness and breaks through; as a light that empties the darkness from the space, but only really grounds it. The ‘desire’ of self-consciousness, the absolute object of its being, is to supersede first-consciousness and become one with it while being other than it. It only comes to understanding through its process, and can only see itself by reflecting from what it was; by infinitely reappearing out of the darkness into full light and, then, reducing the light as absolute darkness approaches, in the form of first-consciousness, which it needs to reappear.

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